Mr. Won’t-Give and Mr. Won’t-Leave

In a certain town lived a clever old Brahman nicknamed Won’t-Give. Every day he begged from houses round about, pretending he must feed several Brahmans at home. Kind folk believed him and loaded him with rice and curry-stuffs. He would come home boasting to his wife how he had tricked this or that gentleman. Yet if any hungry Brahman, hearing of that empty boast, actually came for a meal, Won’t-Give sent him off with some excuse. So he brought home a basketful each day, used a little for himself and his wife, sold the rest, and lived well for years on imposition.

In the next village lived another clever Brahman nicknamed Won’t-Leave. Whenever anyone was reluctant to give what he asked, he bothered until a dole was wrung out. Hearing of Won’t-Give’s charitable feedings, he came one day and asked for a meal. Won’t-Give said ten Brahmans were already settled for that day; if he came tomorrow he would eat without fail. Won’t-Leave agreed and left. It was the same lie Won’t-Give always told casual beggars.

Won’t-Leave was not stupid enough to be put off forever. Next day he stood at the door at the exact hour and reminded the master of his promise. Never before taken at his word, Won’t-Give decided on a stronger excuse: his wife had fallen ill of a strong fever in the night and had not recovered; charity meals must wait until she mended—so please do not trouble him for some days.

Won’t-Leave looked sincerely sorry. To drop charitable feeding of Brahmans for that reason, he said, was a great sin. For ten years he had studied cooking and could cook for hundreds; he would help prepare the samaradhana now.

Won’t-Give could not refuse outright, yet meant to make the guest cook and then drive him off without rice. “A good idea—come in; let us cook together.” They went to the kitchen while the wife, at her husband’s order, pretended illness.

Together they made several fine dishes. Then came the old problem: how to drive the fellow out without breaking the rule of never feeding a Brahman. When cooking was done, Won’t-Give gave Won’t-Leave a copper coin and sent him to the bazaar for leaf-plates. Meanwhile he said to his wife, “It would look bad to bolt the door or push the guest out. Better to make him leave of his own accord. When he comes back, pick a quarrel with me. I will pound the floor beside you with both hands, and you must keep on scolding and crying. He will be so disgusted that he will go.”

Won’t-Leave returned with the leaves. As arranged, the wife abused her husband right and left for emptying the house to feed his guests—must he invite them even when she was sick? After a time he stormed in and pounded the floor. At every blow she shrieked that she was being murdered and that the merciful should rescue her.

From the courtyard Won’t-Leave heard it all. Not wishing to meddle between husband and wife, he climbed into the loft and hid, fearing he might be called as a witness. Presently Won’t-Give came out, delighted to find no guest in sight. He never thought to look up; even if he had, the man was well hidden. He bolted the door carefully. His wife changed her dirty cloth for a clean one. “At last we drove him out—come, you must be hungry; let us dine together.”

Two leaves were spread; all dishes divided equally. Above them Won’t-Leave watched, hungry, waiting his chance. Won’t-Give gloated: “Well, my love, did I not beat you without hurting you?” “Did I not keep crying without shedding tears?” she answered—when suddenly there fell on their ears: “And did I not come to dinner without going away?” Down jumped Won’t-Leave, took his seat before the leaf meant for the wife. Won’t-Give, though disappointed, was highly pleased at his guest’s cleverness.

Where this story comes from

Mrs. Howard Kingscote and Pandit Natesa Sastri printed this Tamil tale in Tales of the Sun; or, Folklore of Southern India in 1890. The book’s footnotes give the two nicknames in Tamil: Kodamundan for Won’t-Give and Vidamundan for Won’t-Leave.

The source ends by saying the story is the origin of three Tamil sayings—Novamal aditten, Oyamal aluden and Pokamal vanden—which are the three boasts at the dinner: beating without hurting, crying without tears, and coming to dinner without going away. That note has been moved here from the end of the tale. The staged domestic violence is part of the source’s comedy. Readers should distinguish that device from a real call for help, which should be taken seriously.

Read the original: Kingscote and Natesa Sastri, Tales of the Sun, 1890 (Project Gutenberg #37002)

Reading guidance: Ages 9–12 with adult discussion; a staged beating and cries of murder are used as a comic deception, and a witness avoids helping.

A closer reading

Won’t-Give wants both the reputation of generosity and the profit of keeping donations. A direct refusal would expose the difference, so he invents excuses that preserve his appearance. Won’t-Leave counters the illness excuse by offering actual work: he helps cook the meal he has been promised.

The loft gives the guest information the couple do not know he has. Their final boasts expose the staged quarrel, and his matching sentence turns their verbal pattern against them. The punch line works because the reader knows all three positions while the couple believe they have the only secret.

The guest wins a meal, but he takes the wife’s place, and the narrator does not say whether she is fed. This makes the ending less fair than a simple victory over greed. The characters’ deception is specific to them; it is not evidence about Brahmans as a group or a reason to dismiss an apparent victim’s call for help.

Try this with the story

Stage the final exchange with three paper figures: two at the meal and one in the loft. Before each boast, state what the speaker knows and what they mistakenly assume. Then add one sentence that would resolve who gets to eat without erasing the original ending.

Talk about it

• Why does Won’t-Give need excuses to preserve his charitable reputation?
• How does Won’t-Leave answer the illness excuse with useful work?
• What does the couple not know when they begin boasting?
• Whose dinner is taken at the end, and what remains unresolved?

Related stories

• Mr. Mighty-of-His-Mouth — another comic South Indian tale where a clever talker gets the better of everyone
• The Good Husband and the Bad Wife — a stingy wife invents a story to chase a dinner guest away
• The Beggar and the Five Muffins — a poor beggar couple and a plate of muffins in another Tamil comic tale