The Mother-in-Law Who Became a Donkey

Tales of the Sun presents this story as an explanation of the Tamil saying, ‘Little by little the mother-in-law became a donkey,’ used in the collection for a steady decline.

In a certain village lived a Brahman with his wife, his mother and his wife’s mother. He wished to please all three women, but did not protect his mother from mistreatment. But his wife was bad-tempered. She kept her husband’s mother working at one job after another all day long and gave her hardly any food in the evening, until the poor old woman was nearly dying of misery. Her own mother, of course, she treated very kindly. The husband was so completely ruled by his wife that he did not have the strength to stand up for his mother.

One evening, just before sunset, the wife shouted at her mother-in-law so furiously that the old woman had to run away to escape a beating. Miserable, she ran out of the village. The sun was setting and darkness was coming on fast, so she went into a ruined temple to spend the night.

It was the home of Kali, the village goddess, who came out every night at midnight to look over her village. That night she found the old woman hiding inside her temple grounds. Being a very kind goddess, Kali asked her what trouble had driven her from home on such a dark night. The old woman told her story in a few words, and while she spoke, the goddess used her powers to see that every word was true.

“I pity you, mother,” said Kali gently. “Your daughter-in-law torments you now that you are old and weak. Take this mango.” She took a ripe one from her waistband and handed it over with a smile. “Eat it, and you will soon be as young as your daughter-in-law, and she will not be able to trouble you any more.” Then the goddess went away.

The old woman stayed in the temple for the rest of the night. Being a loving mother, she did not want to eat the whole mango without saving some for her son.

When her son had come home that evening, his wife had explained his mother’s absence in a way that put all the blame on the old woman, as she always did. It was too dark to search, so he waited until dawn and then went to look for her. He had not gone far before he found her, to his great joy, in Kali’s temple. “How did you get through this cold night, dearest mother?” he said. “What did you have to eat? I was a fool to marry such a wife. Forget her faults and come home.”

His mother cried tears of joy and sorrow and told him what had happened in the night. “Don’t wait a moment,” he said. “Eat the fruit right now. I don’t want any. If it makes you young and strong enough to stand up to her, so much the better.” So his mother ate the whole mango, and her son carried her home on his shoulders. When he set her down at home, she was no longer an old woman but a girl of sixteen, and stronger than his wife.

Now the wife found herself outmatched. She was no match for her strong young mother-in-law, and she had to give up her bullying. She did not like this at all. “That mother-in-law of mine got young from Kali’s fruit,” she thought. “Why shouldn’t my mother do the same?” So she taught her mother what to say and sent her to the temple.

In the dead of night the mother stood before Kali and complained, untruthfully, that a cruel daughter-in-law made her life a misery, although in fact she was spoiled at home. The goddess saw through the lie at once. Still, she pretended to feel sorry and handed over a fruit too. The daughter had warned her mother to wait and eat it only when her son-in-law arrived in the morning.

At daybreak the husband was sent off to bring his wife’s mother back, the same way he had carried his own. She held out part of the fruit to him, as she had been taught, but he said no, so she gobbled every bit, sure that she would turn into a girl on the way. He hoisted her up and started walking.

Halfway along, curiosity got the better of him and he glanced over his shoulder. What he could see of his load looked like part of a donkey! “That must be how the change begins,” he told himself. Each time he peeped, the shape behind his head grew more and more donkey-like, and when he reached his door the creature leapt to the ground, gave a loud hee-haw and galloped off. So the goddess punished the wife’s trickery.

Kali had seen the wife’s wicked plan, and she spoiled it by turning her mother into a donkey.

About this story

This tale is from Tales of the Sun, or Folklore of Southern India (1890), collected by Mrs Howard Kingscote and Pandit Natesa Sastri. It explains a Tamil proverb, “vara vara mami kaludai pol anal” (little by little the mother-in-law became a donkey).

The donkey in the story is the wife’s mother, and the joke is on the greedy, lying pair, not on mothers-in-law in general.

Read the original: Kingscote and Natesa Sastri, Tales of the Sun (Project Gutenberg)

Reading guidance: ages 9–12 with adult discussion of elder abuse, deprivation of food, a threatened beating and a punitive animal transformation.

A closer reading

The two temple visits repeat the same outward actions but begin from opposite circumstances. The first woman needs refuge from abuse; the second imitates the account to obtain the same gift. Waiting for the son and offering to share the fruit make the imitation look convincing to him, but not to the goddess who knows what happened.

The first transformation changes who can resist whom, rather than showing the household learning to care for an older person. The son’s affection is not enough while he allows the mistreatment to continue, and telling his mother to overlook it does not repair it. The second mother’s punishment gives the proverb its comic shape, but readers can still ask whether that punishment is proportionate and how safety could have been secured without magical strength.

Try this with the story

Make a two-column comparison of the temple visits: reason for leaving home, account given to Kali, offer of fruit, and result. Mark which details are copied and which underlying fact cannot be copied. Then identify one action the son could have taken before either transformation.

Questions to ask

• Why does the goddess give the first old woman a mango?
• How is the second visit to the temple different from the first?
• Why do you think the son kept turning his head to look?

More stories like this

• The Kindly Magician — kindness rewarded by magic
• The Fisherman and His Wife — greedy wishes that go wrong
• The Brahmin’s Dream — another Indian joke about wishful thinking